hideindreams

hideindreams @ 2007-12-12T16:34:00

2007-12-12T21:35:26Z

This livejournal is dead.

hideindreams @ 2007-09-10T15:26:00

2007-09-10T19:31:22Z

OHMYGOD.

Sometimes I wish people could read my mind, so they would know the things I want to say to them but can't.

I have severe problems getting things to go from my brain to my mouth.
Or the rest of my body for that matter.

hideindreams @ 2007-07-30T02:46:00

2007-07-30T06:54:35Z

I want to hatch ducklings.

I want my own personal dream analyzer, because none of the internet things make any fucking sense. Never mind. My dreams don't even make sense. Except I loves them.

I've got a couple of new ideas for careers.

I have new curtains for my room. Oh it is loud and bright in there. My grandma screamed "TACKY!" when she saw it, but she is old and I don't care. I love it. But I need to do things to bring the colors together better.

I have books to read.

I have a boy to destroy.

I have paintings to do.

I have ridiculous desires to fulfill.

I have a head full of worries and projects and ideas and memories and regrets.

By the way, I am staying home for most of the next week. Mostly because my mummy requests it of me, but I am kind of tired of people anyways.

hideindreams @ 2007-07-27T00:22:00

2007-07-27T04:41:42Z

I had a dream last night that I entered a Seventeen magazine modeling competition and won. Then I tried out for America's Next Top Model and made it to the show and on the first shoot, we had to advertise a bust firming cream, but we were make-uped into muscley men and had to shoot three at a time in a giant bubble. And Tyra kept making fun of me.

RAWRRR. I am sooo tired. Mentally. I want to spend a couple of weeks just sleeping. Too bad I can't actually do that.

hideindreams @ 2007-07-25T12:03:00

2007-07-25T16:07:49Z

I spent four hours installing City of Heroes only to find out that my video card is shit and the game won't even start.

I went to bed at four this morning, just in time to see Little Miss Sunshine coming on HBO. So I started watching it, planning on falling asleep, but I watched the whole thing and stayed up until after 6. RAWR.

And I have a day ahead of me that requires quite a bit of energy.
4 hours sleep + 3 year old + pool = FUUUCK.

hideindreams @ 2007-07-25T03:18:00

2007-07-25T07:22:27Z

I got City of Heroes! Carol you were right. I somehow managed to miss the giant DOWNLOAD button.

I went into the kitchen a little bit ago for some food and ended up eating some funny crab cakes... or something. Ewwww.

Let me introduce you to supernerd.
While downloading City of Heroes, I noticed that the timer on the download was a tiny bit faster than it should have been, so I waited until it was staying at a constant speed, timed it against and accurate clock, did some proportion things, and came up with a formula to give me the correct amount of time left.

It took me over half an hour to realize what a dorky move that was.

hideindreams @ 2007-07-25T00:55:00

2007-07-25T05:05:01Z

I don't update about what's really happening any more do I?
No.

I have a boything now. And boylove. Annnd all that good jive.

I should be happy. And I kind of am.

Going to swim tomorrow. Taking Nikki.

Friday. Seeing boy. Seeing Belen? Definitely seeing Carol.

Belen's spending the night sometime soon. We need to catch up.

I'm having a tea party maybe next week? Complete with crumpets and fancy dress. Invitation only.

Not much left for summer reading. Anyone know if we had to do anything more than read for AP Environmental? I can't find it anywhere on the website and lost my paper.

Ohhh. Dreading senior pictures in August.

hideindreams @ 2007-07-19T21:35:00

2007-07-20T01:35:10Z

Step 1. Put your playlist on random.
Step 2. Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3. Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly. NO GOOGLING.

1. ~~I'm tellin' you to loosen up my buttons babe (Uh huh)/ But you keep frontin' (Uh)~~ Rachel
2. It's too late baby, there's no turning around/ I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud
3. Monster hospital, can you please release me?/ You hold my hands down, I've been bad.
4. you always said the plan needs to be/ for our standings in humanity
5. And oh, the awkward ways/ That you recoil when I get close
6. ~~Sucking on my titties like you wanted me/ Calling me, all the time like Blondie~~ Carol
7. ~~Got a big plan, this mindset maybe its right/ At the right place and right time, maybe tonight~~ Luther
8. Cant pretend that your nothing special/ You've got to look at all of your options
9. And if the snow buries my, my neighborhood./ And if my parents are crying then I'll dig a tunnel
10. I was on your porch, the smoke sank into my skin so i came inside to be with you and we talked all night, about everything
11. This is a seasonal affair/ So be there or be square
12. Attention! Attention!/ May I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room
13. We are adventuring, we are adventurers/ And behind the pool we ran into trouble
14. If I die and go to hell real soon/ it will appear to me as this room.
15. ~~Now I'm of consenting age to be forgetting you in a cabaret.~~ Carol
16. ~~I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind~~ Rachel
17. You were everything I wanted/ You were everything a girl could be
18. Lot of knots, lot of snags/ lot of holes, lot of cracks lot of crags.
19. Im nicotine, im coming clean i fooled the crowd when i made it sound like i was more then ready
20. I wanna tell ya 'bout my friend the dwarfstar
21. ~~I've got a cupboard with cans of food, filtered water, and pictures of you and i'm not coming out~~ Luther
22. ~~She smelled like 2am/ took him back to her place/ where all the saints adorn the walls/ delivering her from grace~~ Luther
23. Well I'll take two shots said the devil to the man/ and layed a little book on the bar
24. Just as he hit the ground they lowered a tow that stuck in his neck to the gills
25. Before we ever saw straight, we were grasping at straws

no cheating. :D

hideindreams @ 2007-06-29T03:15:00

2007-06-29T07:17:06Z

I am in such a good mood right now. And my day hasn't even been that great, though it was good.

I think I have finally cured myself. God, relief is a wonderful thing.

hideindreams @ 2007-06-27T00:57:00

2007-06-27T05:05:47Z

I feel worthless. I feel terrible. I feel like throwing glass again. I feel like being that heartless dark thing that I almost was.

I want to beat myself over the head for being such an emo little bitch.

hideindreams @ 2007-06-24T22:55:00

2007-06-25T03:01:19Z

I am so BORED since I got home. I have been sleeping soooo much. Like, 12 hours at night and then a two or three hour nap in the afternoons.

I have finished one of my seven books for school, The Hot Zone, which is good even if it scared the shit out of me. Now I am reading Kite Runner. Also good so far.

I keep wanting to write things on my own. And things on vacation inspired me for paintings and things. But I don't feel like it, physically.

I think I may go crazy. Because of things unrelated to anything I just said.

hideindreams @ 2007-06-22T14:32:00

2007-06-22T18:35:37Z

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	53%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Indie	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	48%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

hrm. accurate?

I AM HOME. Sooo happy. Details later.

hideindreams @ 2007-06-06T13:03:00

2007-06-06T17:15:24Z

For a few days I was seriously considering cutting my hair again. Shorter than before. But no. I'm letting it grow long again and dying it dark brown. Kind of like Alanis Morissette's hair used to be, but better.

I don't know why I am so obsessed with my hair. I love it, and I would love to be able to change it every few weeks, but you know. I'm not magic.

I just had the craziest idea that before I leave for vacation, I'd make a thing of everything that's happening in my head. Hahahahaha. I would have no friends.

I need to exercise or something. My legs ached in a tired way yesterday, and I feel like exercise would make that stop.

Carol called me this morning on her way to my house with McGriddles. Yum and yay! Made my morning, even if it caused me to get only half the sleep I normally would.

On that note, my sleep schedule is seriously fucked and needs to be fixed.

hideindreams @ 2007-06-06T00:15:00

2007-06-06T04:18:16Z

I need to stop staying late. I need to stop being nosy. I need to stop caring so much. It all makes me sad.

Maybe this is why I went two years without being serious about liking a guy.

Ohhh I feel broken.

And like I'm about to puke.

hideindreams @ 2007-06-02T13:13:00

2007-06-02T17:20:16Z

I cannot stop staring at the rain. It is so enticing.

I can't wait for the Grand Canyon. I don't even really care that I'm going to be stuck with my family. I am going to be stuck in my head the whole time. I don't think I'll be able to live two weeks without home though. I'm not comfortable if I can't run away to my room. Or somewhere.

I am in the weirdest mood right now. I am content. And I don't really want to be happy. I kind of want to sleep. But not while it's raining. I want to have someone to talk to. But. I want silence.

Oh goodness. I am stupid. I go read.

hideindreams @ 2007-06-02T12:40:00

2007-06-02T16:42:35Z

I get so bored of people and situations so quickly. I want a change.

But I am so scared.

hideindreams @ 2007-05-31T21:57:00

2007-06-01T02:00:44Z

I live in the house of boredom.

I should be at that show. But nooooo.

hideindreams @ 2007-05-31T11:23:00

2007-05-31T15:35:22Z

I want to trade my camera in for a digital SLR. But I can't because I need it for photo 2 next year. But I want a digital SLR to take on vacation with me. Blah. I suppose I will just spend massive amounts of money on film and developing and get CDs to go with it.... or a scanner.

I complain a lot when I'm bored.

I think I'm going to paint today.

hideindreams @ 2007-05-30T17:05:00

2007-05-30T21:12:44Z

kdgfahdgpr. I haavveee ssooooo much energy right now. I love Claritin.

I want to watch Alice in Wonderland. But I can't sit still long enough to watch it. So I want to be Alice. I don't know if I even own that movie. Actually. I'm sure I do. Somewhere.

Remind me never to let my mother do my nails again. There must have been ten layers of polish on my toes and I just spent 15 minutes getting it off of one foot.

I am dying to do something constructive but I'm not going to begin anything until I get back from vacation because chances are I will not finish it before I leave.
I want to rearrange my room.
I want to do a big painting with only my fingers.
I want to start a monster drawing collection. As in drawings of monsters.
I want to start sewing my own clothes. Or clothes for others. You know. Whatever.

jfdageopaigh. I need to run or something.

hideindreams @ 2007-05-29T08:49:00

2007-05-29T12:56:10Z

So I now own my grandma's old crap UICK. It is missing the B. I need to get my license. And I need to get a job when I get back from vacation so I can pay for gas and insurance.

My grandma has a new van with three rows of seating to make this superlame family vacation a little more bearable.

I went to sleep at 6:30 last night. I woke up at 7:30 this morning. I needed that sleep sooo bad. I still need to get a little better.

WRAH!

This song is a little weird.

hideindreams @ 2007-05-28T12:08:00

2007-05-28T16:20:47Z

Awww my kitty is running around meowing cutely.

I would really like a whole lot of brittle glass and a brick wall. I'm not even angry, I just want to throw things and hear glass shatter.

I woke up this morning and my voice was broken. Oh goody.

Last night's badness is better. Actually, no it's not. It's worse and I confused myself. But I've decided not to give a fuck.

Friday I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3 with my mummy, sisters, and less crazy grandma. IT WAS SO GOOD.

Saturday, went shopping. I was sooooo tired, but I could not sleep for some reason.

Yesterday. Stuck at Walmart on 17 for six fucking hours. Don't ask how you can spend six hours at Walmart, but my family can do it. And the most ridiculous part is I had no reason to be there. All I got was enough food to sustain me for the day. Plus I was sick and sleepy and all and whhyyyy all the way on 17?! I could have walked home if we were at the one near home, but noooo. Even though I was so tired I should have been dead, I did not sleep until near one in the morning. Too much coughing and boy and V for Vendetta.

I think I'm supposed to be making banana pudding stuff, but I really don't want to.

hideindreams @ 2007-05-27T22:11:00

2007-05-28T02:21:31Z

I am crazy. and ridiculous and hysterical.

And I cannot believe that my heart skipped when my buddy list showed up. I want to either stop knowing him completely or have things go back to the way they were, no matter how painful that was.

I want it to stop. I want it to stop. I want it to stop.

whyyyy do i torture myself?!

hideindreams @ 2007-05-26T17:52:00

2007-05-26T22:02:03Z

Crazzzyyy. It's summer now!
I have already been summer clothes shopping.
I think yesterday's lunch fiasco has messed me up. I can't eat without feeling sick.
The muscles around my stomach are all tight and I cannot stop being tired. I also hurt everywhere else. I don't know why.
I need something to do. I've been reading, shopping, and complaining today and have run out of entertainment.
My grandma, at this very moment, is out looking for a car. She's giving me her old one!
I am in dire need of company. D:

hideindreams @ 2007-05-23T14:30:00

2007-05-23T18:31:41Z

i need better phone skills. and sleep. oh god i sleep.

hideindreams @ 2007-05-22T15:56:00

2007-05-22T20:03:19Z

I am dying of anticipation and dread. Everything feels wrong. Time is moving so fast and everything is so good right now. I want it to all just stop so I can enjoy it before mid-summer hits and I'm sitting at home for weeks at a time, doing nothing.

My classes next year:
AP European History
AP Environmental Science
AP 12th grade Lit (what is that, British literature?)
Painting
Photo 2
Sociology/Psychology
Current Issues/Comparative Religion
Statistics

Sounds like fun. I may switch out of Sociology. I dunnooo.

I'm gonna go nap in a swing now :D